Ego and love cannot coexist

Ego and love cannot coexist- Anant Sri

In love there is no ego. Ego must go in love. But when we move towards love, mind resists the dissolution of the ego. This is normal because the mind wants to continue existing whereas with the dissolution of the ego, the mind also dissolves. And this is the biggest challenge you face while moving towards love. Maintaining your identity, you can never be love-full.

The pseudo nature of the ego is that it identifies with the memories of the past and fantasies of the future and this is imparted by the mind. In the present moment, there is no mind and therefore there is no ego. Every moment everything is in transition, but we are not able to see this change and thereby we are not able to see what is there in actuality.

As our mind provides us with memories and we identify with it and a pseudo identity is thus created. And we believe it to be us and so we see everything stationed in the past and the actual thing that is present is not seen. Then the future is also projections based on the past as an echo of the past. From there also the actual position is not seen. Thus, with these mental distorters, neither do we see ourselves nor do we see another in the true sense.

Like for example, the light from the stars takes time to reach the earth and sometimes it takes hundreds and hundreds of years. By the time the light reaches the earth, it could be that the star is not there at all, but we see it as its image, created by the light and take it to be there.

In our everyday life we shall see how memory disrupts the present. We hold on to the memories of our diseases and they continue to be with us. When everything is changing, when all our cells are changing, when we are new every moment, then how come our diseases continue to remain unaltered? Sometimes the disease is gone at the physical level but as it stays in the memory, it causes it to re-surface on the physical body. It is only because we identify with the disease and drag them in the present from our memory bank and begin to relive them, that it continues. In science it can be a matter of research that if all cells become new over a period, then how come old patterns get transmitted to the new cells? Our memory is not in the brain, brain is just the place from where it triggers, but memory lies in each cell of the body that we know as cellular memory. If we can find a way to disassociate with the past, our diseases shall just pass by and leave us.

The same holds good in our relationship with people. We see them through our memory, there by hindering their chances of transformation. A person is continuously changing, every moment he becomes a new person but when we see that person, we don’t see the person, but his image created in our memory and as a result we face problems in relationships. We might even get hurt or disappointed. Further we take being emotional as signs of love. Again, this is misconception. Being emotional is just a substitute for love. In love a person is not emotional, but he is sensitive.

We are not open to changes, not only for others but even for ourselves. And all our life we struggle with the changes in us to keep up with our identifications and expectations of the society. The love that we feel initially is all lost. Love is all about new and fresh that is happening in reality, but we miss it because we do not welcome the new. We hold on to the old and there by close our doors for love to happen. These loveless relationships work as means of strengthening each other’s identity, whereas it should have been the other way round. In love the relationships become means for dissolution of the ego.

We hold on to this false identity and don’t want to let it go. When we resist the dissolution of ego, it indicates that we are not ready for love. Ego and love cannot coexist. We resist because we fear that everything shall be lost if ego dissolves but that is not the case. Everything remains as it is. It is only the false identity, our resistance, our fear, our mental blockages that drop, the rest is all there. We must let go our attachment with our pseudo ego.

For this we need to change our memory patterns and create new tracks. We need to let go the old and create space in our mind for new things to come in.

But once we begin to live wakefully, become aware, then we gradually begin to move closer to reality. Now we begin to see things in clarity. And as we see things clearly, we become sensitive and aware of the changes taking place. Gradually we distance ourselves from our false ego and our attachment to our pseudo identity reduces. With further awareness the ego gets fully dissolved, and we find ourselves in love.

To be in love means we are coming closure to our true self with the dissolution of our pseudo identity. There is not much of a difference between love and realization. If you are in love with a person, his presence works towards dissolution of your ego. The same happens between a seeker and a Master when they are together in love. The seeker gradually gets lost into the Master and becomes one with him in the absolute truth that is eternal and non-dual.